By Sexquire (originally posted on FearlessPress.com)
Whenever I tell someone about my business Sexquire, I am often asked “well what does that mean?” I describe the business as a “sex-positive business services company”, so I can see how a person might think “What? Sex positive business services? Do you hand out condoms with tax returns? Screen porn in the lobby?” The answer to both of those is no, but I’m going to take this first column to explain what this does mean to me and what type of clients we work with.
I am now and have always been a business attorney, working primarily with small and medium sized businesses. I handle all sorts of matters for my clients, from setting up their companies to reviewing contracts to trademarking names and logos to negotiating them out of all manner of places they don’t want to be. I’m sort of a jack-of-all-trades business adviser, and love nothing more than helping a small business owner or independent contractor take their business and themselves places they never thought possible. Along the way, I was fortunate enough to pick up some sex-positive businesses and individuals as clients. And let me tell you, when your daily work involves manufacturing companies whose work boils down to “bending metal into other things,” finally getting to work with businesses you believe in that do amazing sexy work? That’s a gift.
There are two contributing that first come to mind when it comes to building confidence and ‘taking a hold of the reins’ of leadership
Go back to establishing what your strengths are. Setting the boundaries you need and setting yourself up for success. It’s better to under promise and over deliver, even to yourself! Find ways that you know you can be helpful and do that for awhile, even if you’re not an official leader. Be a self starter and you will naturally grow into the leader you want to be.
You can also improve on your weaknesses by being willing to be less of a leader and more of a volunteer. Learn from others. No one knows everything so be open to stepping out of the leader position with the intention of learning a new skill or improving yourself.
If you work better solo rather than in a group you also have some great options to build confidence. If you’re feeling a bit shy speak to your local ‘official’ leader to see if there’s a project that you could work on by yourself.
These suggestions only work when you follow through, finish the task or work with a group successfully!
A very long time ago – yes, even before the internet, if you were to allow yourself to believe that such a time existed – a certain author was asked what one book he would take with him if he were stranded on a desert island.
Normally a question like that is designed to see how sophisticated the askee’s tastes are. Will he say the Bible? The Complete Works of Shakespeare? Great Expectations? What profundity awaits us today?
In this case, the answer was a little more prosaic than that: “Thomas’ Guide to Practical Shipbuiding.”
Let’s start with a story.
This one is REALLY long, plus there’s a part three to be added once Naomi posts it (She owns IttyBiz) but I think there’s really important messages in here. If you haven’t signed up for her newsletter yet, you should. It isn’t just for people with businesses.
Those of you who have been following IttyBiz over the years probably know how much I winced typing the words “How to Set Goals.”
Goals drive me crazy, because people tell you how they set goals and assume what worked for them will (naturally!) work for you.
Well, it might work, but it probably won’t work for you as smoothly as they promise it will.
Let’s think about any piece of advice out there on the “best” way to set goals, given by any well-meaning blogger, author or motivational speaker who’s dishing it out.
As we think about what they’re telling you to do, consider these questions:
As a complete business services firm that includes in our ranks a small business attorney and bookkeeping/tax folks, Sexquire sees a lot of new sex related businesses in their infancy. We’ve helped set them up from a variety of angles, creating their legal entities, getting them off on the right foot for keeping their financial records, and even taking part in a few crowd-funding campaigns. For each of these clients, whether they are internet entrepreneurs or sex toy makers or launching a brick and mortar location, we have a list of things that we cover with each of them, sort of a “dos and don’ts” of getting your business started on the right foot.
But there is one item that we never mention, despite the fact that it comes up for nearly every new client we meet. Why would we leave out something that comes up for everyone, regardless of the type of sex related business they are starting? Because it’s so powerful that you have to experience it for yourself, as no matter how someone explains it, nothing will take the place of that first experience with it.
, a fantastic resource for keeping up with the leather & kink communities. This article is written by Papa Tony and applies to other alt communites, not just the gay leathermans community
“We’re the core group of guys doing everything, and we’re looking REALLY OLD right now. We don’t have any club-members under the age of fifty or so, and when young guys show up, they look around, and the moment that the ten-minute bio-break arrives, they are GONE, and never return.”
In every organization or party there’s always that small minority of individuals who, if you had your way, would not be on the invitation list. They are not appealing in appearance and/or personality. On top of everything else, not only are they always around but often they are on staff.
The kink scene of our fantasies is always filled with beautiful people, yourself included. Then there is reality. While there are some beautiful people, the majority of kinky folks are just… folks. They are people of average looks and abilities, many of whom would look more at home at a game of Dungeons and Dragons than a BDSM dungeon. When your mom told you that you were special, you were – to her. To the rest of us you are just one of the crowd. That crowd also includes the below average, and more importantly, those who really give their all because they care.