Raven Kaldera on Power Exchange, Movements, and Activism

Hi Friends,

Just stumbled upon this post and I thought it had some great things to say about power exchange as a viable relationship choice, and not necessarily kinky; kink as a movement; and ways to be activists in the world and immediate community.  Hope you enjoy!

Keynote for the 2013 MTTA Retreat

First, I want to thank you all for being here, and I also want to thank Master Taino for his tireless persistence in creating space outside of the BDSM demographic for people to focus and concentrate on living healthy power dynamics. I’m incredibly grateful for all he does to make space for this subject.

Today you probably thought that you were getting a speech from Raven the woo-woo guy, probably on something spiritual. While that does describe my workshop tomorrow, tonight — in spite of the shaman coat, surprisingly — you’re actually getting Raven the activist. And I want talk to you about the past, and the future.

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Taking the First Step–Call for Suggestions and Support

Hello Beloved Kink Leaders!

It’s been so quiet on here lately!  I’ve missed your voices, feedback, and reflections!  I really hope to see more of you engaging the posts, and I challenge you to start sharing your own resources and ideas as we move forward.  We have so much to offer each other!

In that spirit, I’ve recently been moved to take a pretty big step in my local Kink community, and filled with excitement and fear, am beginning to meditate, pray to the goddess, as well as think and write about my goals and intentions.

I’ve attended local munches and noticed that while there are small patches of youngsters and newbies at the munches, there is no real safe space for the next generation of kinksters to share, explore, and educate ourselves about how to safely, ethically, and responsibly engage in the Kink community.  As many of you have noted and observed, there is a palpable tension between the older and younger generations so I am WELL aware that I am about to step into a pretty icky energetically-charged territory.

I want to start a TNG (the next generation) group here in Palm Beach county.  There are some things I’d like to do before I start, such as 1) talk to my husband, and figure out what I can give in terms of time and commitment, and how this will work for my family. I am going to reach out and set up meetings with leaders in the local community–from both munches, past TNG leaders, owners of the local kink-friendly fetish store etc., to get a sense of the community, its resources, and any suggestions.  It is EXTREMELY important to me that this new group be a part of the current community–not segregated from it, and one of the themes I want to directly address with the community is the way in which the older and younger generations MUST work and learn from one another.  I plan to invite “elder” members from the community to present and teach at our meetings, and I also want to work to empower younger members to step up in the community and create groups and events that reflect their interests, needs, and passions.

I plan on taking at least a month to do all this pre-work, reflection, and praying, and then, post a call for interest on FL.  I want to have an initial meeting to see who is interested and actively plan and brainstorm as a group what we want the group to be, and find out the needs and interests of the attendees.  I’m really not sure quite where to go from there–is it customary to have people in formal leadership roles in these groups, or is it more informal?  As the group founder, I by no means want to be a dictator, but have had negative experiences where everyone is trying to run the show, or (in less formal situations) where no one takes ownership/pride/responsibility and the whole thing dissolves/falls to pieces.

So I am putting all this out here in request for your love, support, words of wisdom, and any experience you may have with this sort of thing!  I am feeling a lot of excitement and terror right now!

Thank you for reading and sharing your responses!

Goddess Inanna

Playing with the Politically Incorrect in BDSM

Hi fellow Kink Leaders!

As many of you know, Kink often involves exploration into the darker, less acceptable sides of human nature.  People seek out the Kink and BDSM communities for different reasons, but there is certainly a place for the politically incorrect in the Kink world that is not made available in the vanilla community.

1.  How do you feel about the active exploration of poltically incorrect topics within kink (e.g. race, rape, imbalances of gendered power, feces, and other forms of extreme play)?

Please check out this great blog post on the topic:


2.  What is your approach to more intense scenes and desires within the Kink Community?

a. As a participant

b. As an observer

c. As a leader (Dungeon staff, group facilitator, etc)

3.  How do you navigate the transition between acceptable scene exploration/play and your leadership role?  How do you make sure that you don’t carry over any of the role play into meetings and that your community members don’t either (For example, power exchange play–totally fine and appropriate in a pre-negotiated scene/relationship but NOT okay at community meetings.  Being a dom/me does not grant you instant power over others in community meetings, etc)

4.  How do you transition between you role in the Kink community, or within a scene to your vanilla life (e.g. the feminist who likes to be spanked.  How can she be both without feeling whiplash?)